Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
We all know it is virtuous to be kind, but did you know it has tangible benefits for your wellbeing as well? Practicing kindness is a true win-win.
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The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.
~ Oscar Wilde
Kindness is not only good for others, it’s good for your own wellbeing. When you help others out of genuine concern for them, your levels of endorphins surge in your brain. Endorphins are naturally-occurring opiates that both relieve pain and give a sense of pleasure and wellbeing.
Kindness has natural healing benefits that are bestowed both on the givers and those receiving kindness. The warm feeling that we get from being kind releases oxytocin, the “love hormone” which helps to strengthen bonds with others by making us feel more trusting and connected. Being kind also releases serotonin and dopamine, hormones which lift your mood so you feel more positive.
As Dacher Keltner asserts in Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life, when we give, share, or cooperate — reward circuits light up in the brain. Given that we are social beings, it makes sense that kindness toward others is intrinsically rewarding.
The release of oxytocin brings on a cascade of electrical impulses that can lower blood pressure, slow heart rate, and reduce levels of inflammation. This important hormone softens our arteries, speeds up wound healing, and stimulates the growth of new blood vessels.
Kindness occupies the same neural circuits as addictive drugs. It can be as effective as pain-killing drugs due to the release of endorphins. It’s no wonder that the array of activity flowing through the brain and body spawned by kind actions has been dubbed both the “helper’s high” and the “giver’s glow.”
Kindness Is in Our Genes
Evolutionary scientists believe kindness is part of our DNA. The human brain is innately wired to be altruistic. The desire to help others and the spirit of cooperation are fundamental to our human heritage. There is research suggesting the capacity to derive joy from giving may be a universal feature of human nature.
If altruism is a deeply rooted part of human behavior, then kind acts would be intrinsically rewarding from the earliest stages of life, even when these acts come at a personal cost.
To test this, researchers gave toddlers just under the age of two a pile of appealing treats and asked them to give one of their treats away to a puppet. The children exhibited more happiness when they gave treats away than when they received treats themselves. Surprisingly, they showed the highest levels of happiness when they gave a treat away from their own stash rather than the experimenter’s.
There is ample research showing that giving, both in terms of time and money, is positively related to health and wellbeing. When older adults were asked whether they gave help to others in the past year, those who did not provide help to others had a 30 percent higher chance of dying after a stressful life event than those who assisted friends, neighbors, or relatives.
To study the relationship between giving to others and blood pressure, researchers asked adults being treated for high blood pressure how much money they had contributed each month to friends and family, or religious, political, or charitable organizations. The more they gave to others, the lower their blood pressure was two years later. Following up, they gave them money and asked them to splurge either on themselves or on others. The charitable givers exhibited lower blood pressure than the self-spenders. The difference was on par with blood pressure reductions from exercise or starting new anti-hypertension drugs.
Those spending money on others report greater happiness in both rich and poor countries. Volunteering is also linked to experiencing happiness. The more people volunteer the happier they are.
Doing Acts of Kindness
Doing simple acts of kindness for just brief periods can increase happiness. Studies on performing acts of kindness show a variety of kind acts matters. It turns out, the variety of kind acts affects happiness more than how often they are performed. Because the brain loves novelty, doing the same kind act regularly can lessen its impact once it becomes familiar. Getting creative and doing surprising, unusual, and novel acts increases the natural high kindness brings. Doing a burst of kind acts in a short period rather than spreading them out over a longer period of time has a greater impact on happiness.
Taking just a minute to do something to make someone’s day a little better can sometimes make an immeasurable difference. When one of my dear friends had a serious bout of depression, I made it my first task of the day to find something loving, uplifting, encouraging, or funny to include in a text I sent to her every morning. I did this for 49 days—until she told me she finally was coming out of her “dark night of the soul.” It took me only a minute or two, but she keeps telling me how much that little act of kindness meant to her.
Here are some kindness practices to spark your own ideas of ways to bring more kindness into the world by taking some action that will have an impact on your own little circle, your community, or beyond. This list includes a variety of ways you can be more deliberate about making kindness a habit. Some you can do for just a moment, for a designated period, or decide you want to establish as a ritual you do every day. You never know the ripple effect of one kind act.
Ways to Boost Acts of Kindness
- Dedicate a day of the week to acts of kindness and challenge yourself to come up with novel kindnesses. For example, you may choose every Wednesday.
- Give something away. It doesn’t have to be something tangible. You might give someone your spot in line or give your time and attention to someone who needs some support.
- Make a kind or supportive comment to everyone you have contact with at your first encounter of the day.
- Have a “be a kind driver” day where you do things like let others turn ahead of you, let someone in line in front of you, and refrain from blowing your horn when you get annoyed.
- Buy a large pack of individually-wrapped snacks and walk through an area where those who are hungry congregate and give them all away.
- Devote a day to looking for opportunities to give out compliments. It could be for a job well done, a kindness you see someone doing, a nice smile, or anything at all.
- Spend a day doing acts of kindness for strangers.
- Be a “secret admirer” for someone and give the person special attention by doing kind, thoughtful, and surprising things.
You may also enjoy reading Do You Have the Courage to Choose Kindness? by Donna Cameron.
